Alright already...

I can't go anywhere without people asking what the sideshow is all about.  Everyone wants to know what we do, and often enough how we do it, but mostly WHY we do it.

 If I told you what we did, the wonder would be gone, and no tickets would be sold. If I explained to you how we did it, the mystery would be revealed.  If I told you why we do it......they'd lock us up.

Truth is, we do a little of this, a little of that, and some other things in between.  In the grand scheme of things large or small, small meaning grand, and grand meaning grandios...or maybe on the scale of one to ten, ten being something that it's probably not...neither here nor there...we show you some things that are real, and some things that are fake, and heavily blur the jagged line between...please, have another drink.  If this sounds too confusing,  let's try this......Check out these three cards, and only three cards.  This is a little game we play...who's got some money?

Maybe reading our FAQ section will help...

What does anyone need that large of a syringe for?  What does a carrot have to do with an animal trap?  What the hell did he say thumbcuffs were for?  Where does that nail go?  What do you mean they used fish hooks to hang up a hammock?  How can you show a whole audience at once the secret to marked playing cards?  Was that really Windex?  There wasn't really a pickpocket sign out front, was there?  After you eat glass, what's it like tomorrow?  Do the hooks ever rip out?  I heard from my friend's mom's sister who's married to a guy that's daughter's boyfriend saw their first and only "pierced weightlifting" incident where the guy had 2 rings ripped from his un-mentionables...or was it 3 rings?

SERIOUSLY...

We can probably tailor a show to meet most needs.  Not that you'll need our show or anything, but you'll most likely want our show to enhance your event(s).  Our show can be short or tall, long or small...as long as it's not entirely politically correct we'll make it work...'cause we like what we do, and so will you.  

Even MORE seriously...

Not all of our shows have to be brought to our notoriously "Upheaving" level.  Despite rumored speculation, several recent newspaper articles, and many breaking news updates between Minnesota and the few surrounding states, we can certainly scale it down a notch and redirect some of our effects to be more accommodating to the "local laws" recently revised by the attorneys of Kinwe Cheetum & Howe Offton.

I, Ryan, will tell the tru...I mean, I can also be hired to perform more close-up acts involving "walk-around" sleight of hand magic, possibly combined with other sideshow acts designed for more intimate social events......not intimate like how you think I might've said I hadn't've possibly meant, you sicko!